Perfectionism (as defined by dictionary.com):
a personal standard, attitude, or philosophy that
demands perfection and rejects anything less;
the demand for the highest standard of excellence
A survey of my bookshelf would reveal many chick-lit books, some marriage books, the entire Harry Potter series (admittedly I married into this collection and have failed to read any of them...some day) and a couple of very telling books entitled "It All Comes Out in the Wash" and "The Relief of Imperfection".
My mom got these last two for me a few years ago for Christmas at my request because, as I have confessed before, I am a perfectionist. So much so that these tendencies were in-part responsible for my battle with anxiety and depression a few years ago. Ironic that a perfectionist would deal with these things right? You know, because flaws would be the antithesis of perfection?!
Alas, these books speak to my desire to cast off the enemy of perfectionism and simply LIVE! From the outside it might not appear that I have come very far, but on the inside I can feel the triumphs and victories of not having to finish the laundry before going to bed, of leaving the house without the dishes done and not being in charge of, or even involved in, every event around me. I have come so far...correction...the Lord has brought me so far.
I was having a conversation the other day about marriage...the question was asked of me, "when do you see you and Paul possibly getting a divorce?"
"That's not an option." I responded.
"Well I know you are Little Miss Perfect but seriously don't you think that was a little naive?"
I took a deep breath before I started my response and then launched right in...
"It's not that we are immune from divorce but we both come from divorced families and talked about this before we got married. We have to keep the attitude that it's not option E or plan B or a last resort. If we do this, we limit the options we are willing to entertain. We also limit what Satan can convince us is a choice when things get tough--not if they get tough--but WHEN. The irony in this is that Satan is likely working harder to end our marriage because we love the Lord. And the only reason we know we have a hope of making it last is because we recognize our imperfection and we need Him to make this possible.
A friend sharing recently about her marriage stated, "once you cross a line, it's easier and easier to keep crossing that line." This is so very true. It's like creating a habit (both good and bad)--once you eat a cookie, it's easier and easier to eat cookies 2 and 3. Once you get up in the morning to work out it's easier and easier to get up the next morning and work out. And once we allow Satan to convince us that this (marriage) is too much and not worth working for, it's easier to start thinking like this daily. BUT once we run to Jesus when life is hard, it's easier and easier (and becomes the only option) to run to him each time things get hard.
Another friend several months ago was resistant to the idea of coming to church because of all that "he had done." A friend told him that if he sat in the pew with all of us, he'd be among some of the biggest sinners there. He kind of scoffed at this in disbelief. Again the irony...faith in Christ is based on the realization of my imperfection and the need of a perfect Christ...and yet my faith appears to non-believers as perfection. The truth is that many believers, including myself, believe this too on some level. Sunday clothes are often fancier than Monday-Saturday clothes. If we're having a bad day we dry our tears in the parking lot, smile, and go into church as if life is great. We struggle to be real with other believers because "our sin is too much." Yet, when we are real and open our hearts to those around us we are met with comfort, acceptance and understanding. Jesus ate with sinners and prostitutes and today we still think we have to appear perfect in order to walk into His house of worship.
Ladies and gentlemen, I am far from perfect and that is why I know certain things to be true...the most pressing of these being that God ordained my life--including my marriage--and he has big things planned that Satan can't wait to mess up. But because I'm not little miss perfect and Christ is Perfection--these things will be seen to fruition. I hope the reason non-believers sometimes see my faith as perfection is that they are seeing Christ living in me and he is reflecting HIS perfection...and I hope that one day I learn His perfection living in me is the only perfection I need!!
I was having a conversation the other day about marriage...the question was asked of me, "when do you see you and Paul possibly getting a divorce?"
"That's not an option." I responded.
"Well I know you are Little Miss Perfect but seriously don't you think that was a little naive?"
I took a deep breath before I started my response and then launched right in...
"It's not that we are immune from divorce but we both come from divorced families and talked about this before we got married. We have to keep the attitude that it's not option E or plan B or a last resort. If we do this, we limit the options we are willing to entertain. We also limit what Satan can convince us is a choice when things get tough--not if they get tough--but WHEN. The irony in this is that Satan is likely working harder to end our marriage because we love the Lord. And the only reason we know we have a hope of making it last is because we recognize our imperfection and we need Him to make this possible.
A friend sharing recently about her marriage stated, "once you cross a line, it's easier and easier to keep crossing that line." This is so very true. It's like creating a habit (both good and bad)--once you eat a cookie, it's easier and easier to eat cookies 2 and 3. Once you get up in the morning to work out it's easier and easier to get up the next morning and work out. And once we allow Satan to convince us that this (marriage) is too much and not worth working for, it's easier to start thinking like this daily. BUT once we run to Jesus when life is hard, it's easier and easier (and becomes the only option) to run to him each time things get hard.
Another friend several months ago was resistant to the idea of coming to church because of all that "he had done." A friend told him that if he sat in the pew with all of us, he'd be among some of the biggest sinners there. He kind of scoffed at this in disbelief. Again the irony...faith in Christ is based on the realization of my imperfection and the need of a perfect Christ...and yet my faith appears to non-believers as perfection. The truth is that many believers, including myself, believe this too on some level. Sunday clothes are often fancier than Monday-Saturday clothes. If we're having a bad day we dry our tears in the parking lot, smile, and go into church as if life is great. We struggle to be real with other believers because "our sin is too much." Yet, when we are real and open our hearts to those around us we are met with comfort, acceptance and understanding. Jesus ate with sinners and prostitutes and today we still think we have to appear perfect in order to walk into His house of worship.
Ladies and gentlemen, I am far from perfect and that is why I know certain things to be true...the most pressing of these being that God ordained my life--including my marriage--and he has big things planned that Satan can't wait to mess up. But because I'm not little miss perfect and Christ is Perfection--these things will be seen to fruition. I hope the reason non-believers sometimes see my faith as perfection is that they are seeing Christ living in me and he is reflecting HIS perfection...and I hope that one day I learn His perfection living in me is the only perfection I need!!
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