Admittedly, I question God a LOT when it feels like moments aren't enough, unfulfilling. When it feels like everything is uphill and then I slide back down into a valley and never quite make it to the mountaintop. The mountaintop looks so appealing. Everyone smiling and rejoicing about all kinds of things...and I'm pulling into my house calculating how long we can make it with the few diapers we have left because I forgot them and really don't want to take everyone back to HEB. And then I realize that my mundane is more than a lot of people have. I have three babies I never thought I'd have and I get to drive my van to the grocery store that is all of two minutes away from the house we get to have.
It might feel like a valley but why is it I only think I can celebrate on the mountain top? Why is it I reserve my gratitude for the high-point rather than the journey? I know why. Because on the mountain top, I think I know what God is doing. When I feel a reprieve, I take a breath and say "I see what you were doing there, God. I figured it out." When really, I know nothing about God's plan. I know nothing in the valley. I know nothing on the mountain top. I know nothing on the journey. I know nothing with green eggs and ham. I know nothing.
Ok. I know one thing. I know God is God and I am not. He is in charge simply because he is God. That's enough. And if my moment is to help my kids become friends with half of the staff at HEB (which we have done, by the way...they notice when we haven't been in a while), then that must be needed for kingdom work. If my moment is rejoicing with my four-year-old because she took a deep breath and calmed down all on her own (even though I know another meltdown is imminent because I see her sister grabbed her beloved toy of the day), then it's worth it.
This morning my heart was full and longing at the same time. We sang a song we used to sing at our old church and I missed my choir family dearly. And I was so encouraged by the words and that God used it despite us being in a new chapter, at a new church. I have always looked at valleys as being a low point, a means to an end, a necessary evil. But this song gives me a new perspective. This song paints valleys as a place of protection. A place God uses for healing and strengthening. If my moment is in a valley like this, I'll take it not matter what is happening on the mountaintop.
My God is awesome
He can move mountains
Keep me in the valley
Hide me from the rain
My God is awesome
Heals me when I'm broken
Gives strength where I've been weakened
Forever He will reign
My God is awesome
He can move mountains
Keep me in the valley
Hide me from the rain
My God is awesome
Heals me when I'm broken
Gives strength where I've been weakened
Forever He will reign
My God is awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome
My God is awesome
Savior of the whole world
Giver of salvation
By His stripes I am healed
My God is awesome
Today I am forgiven
His grace is why I'm living
Praise His holy name
My God is awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome
He's mighty
Awesome, awesome
He's holy
Awesome, awesome
He's great
Awesome, awesome
Deliverer
Awesome, awesome
Provider
Awesome, awesome
Protector
Awesome, awesome
My God is awesome
He can move mountains
Keep me in the valley
Hide me from the rain
My God is awesome
Heals me when I'm broken
Gives strength where I've been weakened
Praise His holy name
My God is Awesome
by Charles Jenkins
