Beyond Imagination: Vol 1

Last weekend, my church hosted a women's event entitled "Beyond Imagination" and our guest speaker was author Shana Schutte. Between her God-given messages and the amazing worship led by Jenna Lorick the Lord did a lot of speaking to my heart. And to be honest, I was not a huge fan of all he had to tell me...at first. But after really listening to His heart, I am on board and learning that a life of surrender is actually very exciting!!

God whispered several things to me--and it has taken me this entire week to really get to a place to get them down on "paper", so here's my best attempt...

We started trying to start a family in December and in my typically demanding fashion I told God, "Ok, you have until our first anniversary to give us a baby or change my heart." I mean, honestly, He knew I was thinking this so I might as well just say it out loud, right? I really wasn't demanding a pregnancy by March 13--I just knew that in December my heart could not see any other option so if that was not on the agenda the Lord would have to change my heart. and wouldn't you know it, He did. Sitting in the friendship hall of my church, singing:

I stand amazed in the presence
Of Jesus the Nazarene,
And wonder how He could love me,
A sinner, condemned, unclean.

Chorus:

O how marvelous! O how wonderful!
And my song shall ever be:
O how marvelous! O how wonderful!
Is my Savior's love for me!

He took my sins and my sorrows,
He made them His very own;
He bore the burden to Calvary,
And suffered and died alone.

When with the ransomed in glory
His face I at last shall see,
’Twill be my joy through the ages
To sing of His love for me.

With tears streaming from my eyes I heard him speak directly to me. "I'm not telling you that you aren't going to be a mom--it's just not going to be as soon as you wanted. I have a purpose for this new job--trust me." I didn't like this words and as the tears continued to flow I knew that half of them were from hearing my Savior so clearly and half were knowing I'd have to let go my plan. As we sang the chorus again I had this overwhelming thought--God is marvelous and wonderful simply because He's God. Regardless of when or if He gives me anything I desire He is marvelous and wonderful!! I still had this twinge of feeling like someone was trying to take away a toy I wasn't ready to let go of, though. 

To give you a bit more information, I have been job hunting since my nanny job ended in mid-December. I interviewed at a couple of places and plastered my resume everywhere I could. And received countless emails, texts and phone calls about bogus jobs in the "manufacturing field" that people felt I was perfectly suited for after reviewing my information (gotta love spam)!?! But then, one shining glimmer of hope--a phone call, an interview and PEACE! I walked away from the building knowing this is where the Lord had me. I didn't know why He had me here but I knew it was it. A week later I received an offer and I start work there on Monday. So when the Lord whispered that He had a plan with this new job, He was referring to this. 

As I processed my celestial message, I still didn't want to let go of my plan but I was also excited knowing I was right in the middle of His plan for me. I was slowly becoming more and more ok with our baby plans not occurring on my time table but this was still upsetting. It was a very strange place of being excited and disappointed simultaneously and about the exact same thing. Might this be the very definition of bittersweet!?!? We met in our small group after my message from above and I cried, I came home to Paul and shared my revelation and cried some more (and this time it was not the pretty crying where the tears just flow from your eyes...nope this was the shaking, wailing, sobbing, scrunchy-face ugly crying). My always cool-as-a-cucumber husband sweetly held me and simply stated "all in the Lord's timing." Such sweet sentiment--and true--but it just made the ugly crying worse!

Sunday we spent the evening with friends--one of whom is expecting. Someone commented "this could be you soon, Rach." I could feel the ugly crying coming on as I simply shook my head and said "No, I think it might be a bit longer." Not sure what I was thinking--I KNOW it will be a bit longer because God told me it would be a bit longer...oh, self protection! We chatted and I filled them in on my weekend revelation and then it was time to head home. Now that I had to reveal God's message to more than my husband, it was more real and a few tears escaped my eyes on the drive home. But, God knew what I needed and He knew that I needed another message INSTANTLY so he used the radio station. I sat in awe of my wonderful and marvelous God as I heard "I'm Letting Go" followed by "The Voice of Truth" and ending with "I Will Follow"!! Really, Lord, really?!? Ok. I hear you. I'm listening. I'm on board. Help me surrender to YOU." 

Superheros vs Real People

I spent 2 days a couple of weeks ago working on 13 superhero capes for Jacob's 4th birthday party (the little boy I nannied last year). I bought the supplies (broad cloth, felt, thread, elastic) and brought them all into my apartment--nothing magical about those supplies sitting in the bag. I measured each cape, cut out the pieces, hemmed the edges, gathered the top, added the tie and attached the crest (complete with a lightening bolt, at Jacob's request). After they were all ironed I hung them on hangers and moved on to making the masks. I traced the pattern, stitched the layers together, attached the elastic and cut out the eyeholes. I hung the masks on the hangers as well and stood back staring at my completed project. While the material I brought into my house looked drastically different now, there was nothing inherently magical about it. 

The day of his party I carried those ordinary capes into Bekki's house and when each child put them on, a transformation happened. I saw it! Broadcloth and thread suddenly made them faster. The mask gave them saving powers and the combination of the mask and the cape gave each child the ability to fight off the super-villain. Dressed all in black, he showed up dumping bombs (aka: black balloons) all over the birthday party. After the 13 superheroes screamed and scared him off, he returned with kryptonite rocks!! Ahhhhhh!! Fear not, faithful reader--lest you forget that we had 13 real-life, super-fast, all-powerful superheroes present who quickly took the kryptonite rocks and placed them safely into the hazardous waste container with tongs (translation: used kitchen tongs to put them in a bowl). Despite the best efforts put forth by the super-villain, the party was saved. 

And to think, just a couple of hours before, sans capes and masks, these 13 kiddos would have been at the mercy of the super-villain and all his antics?!?! The party was a success and at the end of the day, the kids felt like they had saved the party simply because they ascribed power to some simple broadcloth and felt. 

I often look at biblical characters as though they are superheroes. I read between the lines and know that each person must have had their own bat-cave. In this wonderfully top-secret cave, they must of had many audiences with God where he assured them of the plan. In addition to the bat-cave they must have had a super sensitive sixth sense so they just knew when they were being deceived by the enemy. And clearly they had a bat signal that went off every time Satan reared his ugly head! Let's talk about this super-villain for a moment. He looks like the Joker--you can pick him out in a crowd from a mile away. He has no real power, he's just a narcissist that perceives he has power...right?!?! WRONG!!  

These biblical "characters" aren't characters at all. The bible is not a comic book where the bad guys are always dressed in black, the damsel in distress is a helpless woman in white, and the hero always knows the outcome before it begins. Nope, not even close. The bible is TRUTH; it is a true story about people who really walked the earth. These same people had hopes and dreams of falling in love, family, children, success, Heaven--hey, those are the same dreams I have?!?! These people battled Satan--not a super-villain dressed in black from head to toe--Satan. A fallen angel who twisted the truth ever so slightly to pervert the word of God, who used the good things God gave them as a means of taking them down, and who disguised himself to blend in with everyone so his attack would hurt that much more. Hey, these are the same tricks he uses today!

If the people in the bible are superheroes, then so am I. But if the people of the bible were real people living real lives, muddling through the mess that sin has made this world, then so am I. They didn't need superhero capes to give them power, they needed only one thing--and it's the same thing I need today: faith. "Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see." Hebrews 11:1

Faith doesn't require a cape, a mask or any special equipment. It requires trust. Trust that the bible is true, trust that the Lord has more planned than we can ever imagine, trust that He really knows what's best and trust that the super-villain never really has the upper hand. Don't get me wrong, Satan has power--but it pales in comparison to the power of Christ! 

Faith is a touchy thing...to non-Christians (and truthfully to some fellow Christians), I look crazy when I take a leap of faith, make decisions simply because they "feel right", and/or do things I don't want to do because "the Lord told me to" (quitting a job with nothing in the wings, tithing when the math does not work, getting married after 98 days, pursuing a friend that seems hopeless, taking a particular job, reconciling a past wrong, forgiving someone who hurt me, etc). But the truth is, faith is just as personal as my relationship with Christ. God didn't write a comic book with thought bubbles so everyone could be omniscient. God is writing LIFE and he speaks to me directly and individually--he has given me wonderful tools to guide my steps (the bible, pastors, friends, etc) but when push comes to shove He speaks to me. And my faith provides the confidence and assurance to hear those words even when I cannot see. 

And what's more--because this is not a comic book--it is not just available to the characters on the page. The guidance, love, peace and eternal life that come through faith in Christ is available to EVERYONE who wants to receive it. This, my friend, is better than any comic book, fairy tale or chick-flick I have ever seen!!