Several days ago, on a rainy afternoon, we got home and within about 10 minutes, the power went out. I was thankful we had gotten home and in the garage out of the rain before this happened. I had a to-do list we were all going to work to complete together but it most definitely required being able to see. We gathered the few flashlights we had and I called the number to report the outage. "There are approximately 1000 people currently without power. Your power should be fully restored by 2:30." Not what I had planned but less than 2 hours of no power was not a major deal; I shifted my list in my head and adjusted my plan.
And then my chicks started to chime in....
"Ummmm...this is kind of scary."
"I wish we lived at her house where the lights can turn on!!"
"How long has it been?! Is it almost on?!"
"Girls, there are people working hard to get it fixed for us and the 1000 other people without power. There is nothing we can do about it. You can still do most everything you were planning to do."
Soon they had decided to be performers, using the flashlights as the spotlights and I heard giggles and laughs coming from their room.
And then, a short 20 minutes later, the power was BACK! Much faster than anticipated, our power had been restored! And then I heard...
"Wait what?!! The lights came on!!"
"Oh man! Now we can't be performers!"
"Let's just turn the lights off and keep playing in the dark!!"
I caught my face in my hands and chuckled at how silly they were--frustrated because they couldn't turn on the lights and then frustrated that the power was back. And then it hit me: what an accurate picture of ME! Don’t I tend to want what I can’t have?! How often am I frustrated because, in my estimation, God isn't providing or acting swiftly enough?! Or when He does act, it isn't how I thought he would (ie: it isn’t the way I “dress-rehearsaled” the details in my head) so I stomp my feet (be it literally or in my heart)!?
Lord, you know my desire to be married, please show me who you have for me?!
Ok, wait, this marriage thing is haaaard and it often seems like we aren't speaking the same language. This is what I asked for and now I'd like to keep complaining, please.
Oh Lord, we want to be parents. Our hearts ache to have a baby.
Wait, what?! I love these kiddos fiercely and this season of behavioral struggles was not on my radar. Can we have an easier season please?!!
Lord, you know the financial struggles we are having. Please show us a way to a new job.
Hmmmm. A layoff, Lord?! I was hoping for a promotion instead. Are you sure this was what you meant?
It reminds me of a zoo trip several years ago. We were watching the elephants and noticed one along the edge of his enclosure with his head pressed up against the fence. Honestly, it looked like he had put himself in timeout. As we got closer I realized that his head was pressed up against the fence because he was reaching through the slats with his trunk to eat the grass on the other side. Despite standing in a rather large patch of grass that could easily be reached, he quite literally was playing out the saying "The grass is always greener on the other side".
The bible has examples of people operating in this same mindset:
Adam and Eve were given all that they could ever need in the garden. God's love and provision lavished over them in spades yet they were so easily tempted by the one tree they were told not to eat from (Genesis 3:1-7).
Despite having been freed from Egypt, the Israelites determined Moses had been gone too long and implored Aaron to make them a god to worship (Exodus 32).
I tend to think "this would be easier if....", "once we get through this, the dust will settle and it will be easier", "God isn't going to leave it like this forever..." “If only we still had xyz like we had before…” Sometimes these thoughts are accurate but often, the only thing they achieve is moving my focus off of where Jesus has me now. There ARE very hard seasons. There ARE real struggles and challenges that leave us exhausted from the work required to navigate them. And knowing Jesus doesn't exempt me from the hard. It does mean, however, that I am not alone in the hard and that there is purpose in the hard.
Believe me, often I would rather be like my girls and complain whether the lights are on or off. A lot of the time, I am the elephant standing in plenty of grass longing for the grass someone else has. And I have also learned, as much as I don’t want to admit it, that the hard things I have walked have been what was necessary for God to show me my weaknesses by revealing His strengths
I also tend to get focused on what God has done or what He will do. But taking in, processing, and embracing what He is doing now is admittedly harder for me. The grass will be greener when we get through this mentality. But wouldn't I value that greener grass more if I truly embraced who God is and what He is doing even while the grass is withered?
We are packing up Christmas and I was struck by this nativity I have been looking at since before Thanksgiving. No matter how many times it was arranged, by the end of the day, it looked like this:
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| "Everyone is looking at Jesus!" |
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