One year ago, with a 3 year old, almost 22 month old, and a 3 week old, we went to HEB. When I look at this picture it is about so much more than conquering HEB with three kiddos so small. When I look at this picture I am filled with awe about what we can accomplish with God's help. Yes, it was a monumental trip to HEB; mom alone and three babies and every one of us made it home. The trip started in the bulk aisle with me saying "What do you want?" while glistening eyes stared at me with disbelief that I really was offering them anything. And it was the most beneficial $1.67 I've ever spent. The freshly baked tortilla samples came just about the time the snack bags ran out, and the Mexican cookie from the bakery got us through checkout. And I'm fairly certain I jumped for joy when we got home with groceries that actually made a meal! HEB is a weekly trip for the Nixon Chicks now and has progressively contained fewer and fewer bribes.
But more than all of that, when I look at this picture, a picture captioned "Conquering my Everest", I see something so much more.
In 2007 I had my first panic attack. I was at work and reached for the computer mouse and couldn't grab it my hand was shaking so much. My chest got tight, I couldn't breathe, and I remember crying so hard yet no tears would come. I looked at a coworker with terror in my eyes and retreated to my office. This started my road with anxiety and depression. Throughout this battle, laundry and the grocery store were two of the significant triggers. So much so that I couldn't handle going to HEB because it was too big and busy and overwhelmed me instantly. I started shopping at the Randall's up the road from my apartment because it was smaller, less busy, and more manageable. Yet even so, I remember calling my mom in tears from the trash bag aisle. I couldn't calculate which option was a better deal and I had spent far too many minutes trying to figure it out on my own. Trash bags?!?! For whatever reason, the grocery store and laundry is how much of my anxiety manifested itself; just symptoms of the bigger issue. I remember the first time I went back to HEB and successfully shopped without incident. Just me, alone. Buying food for myself and not having to meal plan. What a triumphant day that was?!
God brought me healing from anxiety and depression through medicine, counsel, and prayer. And I know it was Him because life has happened since and when overwhelming struggles have come, neither the anxiety nor the depression has returned.
So when I saw this picture on FB today from 1 year ago, I was overcome with what our God can do! I had three babies ages 3 and under, went to HEB Plus (which is HUGE with everything from milk to clothing), and left feeling victorious not overwhelmed. Sure we had some bribes to assist but no amount of gummy bears, tortillas, or cookies has power against the schemes of the devil crippling minds and emotions with anxiety and depression. Only through the power of Jesus, and the tools He provides, is it possible.
This picture shows me Jesus conquering my Everest for me. Not the Everest of flying solo with 3 kids for the first time, or the Everest of grocery shopping with 3 littles, but the Everest of having victory over Satan! And that....that fills me with so many emotions!
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